seating etiquette at the dining table

Seating Etiquette: 9 Rules For How To Sit At The Dining Table

who this class is for

Everyone

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About this micro-class

Seating at a dining table is crucial for creating a positive impression, especially in diverse social settings.

Seating etiquette includes the appropriate seating order and sequence, posture, and all the connected polite actions.

1. Seating in the right place at the right time

Wait for the other guests to sit

Sit at the table when the other guests do.

If you are invited to supper, wait for the host to invite guests to take their seats.

Wait for the host

Wait for the host or hostess to indicate where you should sit.

If there’s no assigned seating, allow seniors, guests of honor, or the elderly to be seated first.

Seating etiquette with assigned seats

On formal occasions, seats will be preassigned.

Sit in your assigned seat. To find your assigned seat, look for the place card with your name or ask the host.

Seating etiquette with free seating

On informal occasions, seating may be free.

Wait for the hosts to point guests to their seats. If this doesn’t happen, it’s polite to ask whether seats are free or assigned.

When seats are not assigned, you should occupy the seat nearest to you as you approach the table.

Picking your preferred seat is impolite, as it signals that you are willing to walk over others to get what you like.

2. Seating arrangement

Usually, the host sits in the middle or at the head of the table.

The most important guest sits on the right side of the host. The remaining seats are assigned from senior to junior, trying to alternate guests by their gender.

If the hosts are a couple, they should sit on opposite sides. The most important female guest should sit on the right side of the male host. The most important male guest should sit on the right side of the female host.

3. Seating order

In Western etiquette, ladies and senior guests sit at the table first.

It’s good manners to help ladies and seniors to sit. When the guest is ready, hold their chair with both hands and gently pull it back away from the table. Then, move it forward toward the table when the guest is ready to sit on it.

The hosts should be the last ones to sit at the table.

On formal occasions, when ladies or senior guests join the table, men are expected to stand up as a sign of respect.

4. Napkin placement after sitting

Place your napkin on your lap immediately upon sitting down.

If you need to leave the table temporarily, loosely fold the napkin and place it to the left of your plate or on your chair.

5. Use of chairs

When you sit, move your chair close to the table. Gently lift it, don’t drag it.

The ideal chair position allows you to keep your legs under the table, without your torso touching the table.

Sit on the chair in the center of the seat. Don’t sit on a border or a side of it. Unless the chair is too high or too deep, place both feet on the ground and rest your back on the backrest. Never place your feet on another chair or on the table.

Don’t lean back in your chair. Sit up straight and avoid slouching.

6. Proximity with other guests at the table

Sit comfortably close to the table without crowding it.

Leave enough space between yourself and others for easy conversation.

7. Keeping a graceful posture

During the meal, don’t invade the personal space of the neighboring guests.

Keep your back straight and the elbows attached to the body. Don’t spread or stretch your legs. Your legs should not occupy an area wider than your seat.

Try to keep your back at a 90ยบ inclination. Don’t lean on the table. At the same time, don’t lean back far from the table as you risk soiling yourself or appearing disrespectful. Avoid slouching.

Hold your posture during the meal. Bring food and drinks to your mouth and not vice versa.

8. Manage the position of your hands, elbows, and legs

Keep both hands on the dining table when you are not eating.

Don’t rest your elbows on the table.

When you eat, both hands should be occupied with a pair of utensils, such as fork and knife.

If you are eating with only one utensil and have one hand free, rest your free hand on the table. However, in some countries, it is polite to rest your free hand on your lap, below the table.

9. Stay on your seat

You should stay seated for the entire duration of the meal.

Leaving your seat during a meal is bad manners, as it disrupts conversation and the flow of the meal.

Going to the restroom is the exception.

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